Monday, September 10, 2012

If I Don't Love Ya Baby...

If I don't love ya baby 
Grits ain't grocery, 
Eggs ain't poultry, 
And Mona Lisa was a man! 
-Little Middleton

When I got married, I was given some excellent advice from another married woman whom I respect and whose friendship I treasure. "Learn how to please your husband," she said, smiling, as she addressed me and the crowd at our rehearsal dinner. 

Now, to be fair, her husband gave my husband the same advice (about pleasing me). And I filed the information away for after the honeymoon, thinking that I would naturally want to please my husband anyway, right? ... Wrong. I have learned more about how selfish I can be in the past three years of marriage and parenting than I ever knew was possible. And every time that I tried to do the "right thing" with the wrong motivation, I lost steam and turned it into something for myself. 

For instance, I had some wonderful pregnancies. There was nothing wrong with me, other than light nausea in the first trimester, and the usual complaints about sleeping and (frequent) peeing. But I used this "right thing" as a reason why my husband should serve me, hand-and-foot. I had moments where I was quite proud of myself for my endurance as I cooked food, cleaned the house, and puttered around, but I wasn't really serving Boone - I was making myself look good. And when he came home, (whew!), I would list my activities and sit down and rest! But I didn't really put himself first. I put myself first, expecting him to put me first, too.

That doesn't sound very pretty, does it? I would love to say that I'm just being too hard on myself, but I believe I have had an epiphany, and don't want to reason my way out of it because it will be very good for my character. If God can help me make it stick!

So, for the next moment, day, and season, on into the rest of my life, I want to serve him, and by doing so, serve Him. I have been trying to think of ways to help and bless my husband, and, over the past week, have been amazed at how much I am being blessed as well.

I want him to be sure that I love him - or Grit's Ain't Grocery! Because of my actions, my love shines forth, without conscious thought as to how it may selfishly benefit me.

It's a lesson to be kept close to heart!


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