If I Don't Love Ya Baby...

If I don't love ya baby 

Grits ain't grocery, 

Eggs ain't poultry, 

And Mona Lisa was a man! 

-Little Middleton

When I got married, I was given some excellent advice from another married woman whom I respect and whose friendship I treasure. "Learn how to please your husband," she said, smiling, as she addressed me and the crowd at our rehearsal dinner. 

Now, to be fair, her husband gave my husband the same advice (about pleasing me). And I filed the information away for after the honeymoon, thinking that I would naturally want to please my husband anyway, right? ... Wrong. I have learned more about how selfish I can be in the past three years of marriage and parenting than I ever knew was possible. And every time that I tried to do the "right thing" with the wrong motivation, I lost steam and turned it into something for myself. 

For instance, I had some wonderful pregnancies. There was nothing wrong with me, other than light nausea in the first trimester, and the usual complaints about sleeping and (frequent) peeing. But I used this "right thing" as a reason why my husband should serve me, hand-and-foot. I had moments where I was quite proud of myself for my endurance as I cooked food, cleaned the house, and puttered around, but I wasn't really serving Boone - I was making myself look good. And when he came home, (whew!), I would list my activities and sit down and rest! But I didn't really put himself first. I put myself first, expecting him to put me first, too.

That doesn't sound very pretty, does it? I would love to say that I'm just being too hard on myself, but I believe I have had an epiphany, and don't want to reason my way out of it because it will be very good for my character. If God can help me make it stick!

So, for the next moment, day, and season, on into the rest of my life, I want to serve him, and by doing so, serve Him. I have been trying to think of ways to help and bless my husband, and, over the past week, have been amazed at how much I am being blessed as well.

I want him to be sure that I love him - or Grit's Ain't Grocery! Because of my actions, my love shines forth, without conscious thought as to how it may selfishly benefit me.

It's a lesson to be kept close to heart!

It's a Good, Good Day!

Well, my friends. Yesterday was quite productive, my house is much more orderly with the laundry folded and put away. And I have been able to bless my husband by cleaning the house and feeding him. It's so important for everyone to be fed at appropriate times (snarky, snarky). ;) Speaking of feeding... My little G, at nearly 9 months old, is already starting to be a champion eater!

Why does that not surprise me?

Maybe because he's always been a little on the ginormous side? We only started trying solids this past week (going for the baby led weaning here) and he is putting fist to mouth quite well!

It's amazing, actually. My oldest, K, took such a long time to figure out how to swallow. Now we are all sitting around the dinner table together, and it's quite sociable and nice.

Here's a little encouragement on the matter of first-time-obedience. K has been trying the boundaries and testing us at every turn (sigh). And so my lovely Mom sent me this link and it really was quite an encouragement. I needed to be reminded that it is His kindness to us that leads us to repentance. And I want repentant children, because I want their hearts safely in His charge!

I'm looking forward to the weekend, and completing the other tasks that I have set for today.

I hope you have a lovely weekend, too!

Some Encouragement, Please? Someone? ...Anyone?

Mercy! Raising children is backbreaking labor! Not to mention keeping the household from falling apart. The laundry must be washed, folded and put away, the bread must be baked, frozen and stored, breakfast, lunch and dinner are daily trials, er, I mean tasks..., and if I want a happy husband, I must clean the house and keep it neat.

Whew!

I've been having a hard time staying motivated to do simple things around the house. It seems like there is a never-ending to-do list that follows me around. And so, what's my response to that? Do I stand up, take-the-bull-by-the-horns and plow through? ...Well, so far, no. I have been a lazy bum. It's true. I'm throughly embarrassed and my heart is sinking while I type these words. I have been skating by doing the minimum requirements.

And what has that lead to? An unhappy husband, a low personal regard and whiny children. My husband finally said to me, last night, "Honey, would you please just stop reading?". Yeah, that's when you know it's gone too far. But moderation has always been a struggle for me. I love to read, to escape. And I have been using books as my escape for as long as I can remember. But right now, what my family needs is for to not escape. Rather, to focus.

So here's my encouragement to myself, and to you. And it comes from a very good Book that is not about momentary escape, but true and lasting freedom. With contentment.

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. Galations 6:10

 So there you have it! I will be striving, and trying, and pushing myself on to do this good that comes from God, to those whom I have opportunity to touch.

Letters

Communication fail. My husband and I do this all the time. We will discuss a topic, flesh it out, and end the discussion with each one thinking the other person agreed to the opposite thing. I would be rich if I had a dime for every time I have heard, or said "But I thought you meant thus-and-such!"

So in an endeavor to communicate better, my husband sent me this invitation:

Would you be willing to join me in an experiment for the rest of our lives? I want to write to each other, not on any kind of schedule or about anything in particular. Just writing to one another, both of us making an honest effort to communicate out of our sincere desire to know one another better. We could use this medium to document our letters and keep them for the future. Each of us just creating a new note in response to the other and when it's finished, letting the other know a letter is waiting.

So we have begun a Letters folder in Evernote. He writes, I respond. Sharing a new "page" in the love story of our lives, with a grace-filled heart.

Hopefully, this is the beginning of an older, wiser couple. ;) The Lord knows we need the help!

Oh! Well Hi!

One month after my last blog post, on December 11th, 2011, our second son was born.

Yes, he's now a healthy 8.5 month old!

The birth experience was amazing, while the month in between my last blog post and the birth was one of the physically toughest of my life. It seemed like, at 8 months pregnant, my world was falling apart. My firstborn got a cold, the whole family got food poisoning, I went into preterm labor due to the food poisoning, and then had several bouts of serious false labor. All the while, the baby was growing like a weed.

Maybe weed is the wrong term. How about football player? Sumo wrestler? No, football player. He was growing like a football player, then. He weighed in at a whole 9 pounds, 4.5 ounces (sound the resounding gong here!). Graced by his length (22"), he didn't appear disproportionately huge. (Ergo, the football player comparison - tall and wide!). In fact, he was so proportionate that we had to weigh him twice before anyone would believe he weighed that much!

And then Life went into warp speed. And here I am, with two handsome and busy boys, a smart and good-looking husband who has just started his undergraduate degree, adjusting to a new way of life in a non-military town!

Looking forward to sharing the rest of the summer and fall with you all!